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When I carry my baby in my arms, to rock him, sing to him, feed him, look at him carefully or kiss him, I feel so good that it is no wonder that from all these expressions of love and affection something very positive and beneficial for him also comes out. Psychologists have called these behaviors, which come naturally to parents from the heart, nurturing behaviors that are associated with bonding experiences.
Scientists consider that the most important factor in creating attachment is positive physical contact, that is, hugging, kissing, rocking, snuggling are activities that cause specific neurochemical responses in the brain, which lead to the normal organization of the brain systems responsible for attachment.
During the first three years of life, the brain develops 90 percent of its adult size and puts in place most of the systems and structures that will be responsible for the entire emotional, behavioral, social, and physiological functioning for the rest of life. So bonding experiences develop healthy attachment and attachment capacities when they occur in the first years of a baby's life.
At present the relationship o attachment bond of the child with the father, a figure of great importance for the normal evolutionary development of any person. However, the most important relationship in a child's life is attachment to his mother because this first relationship determines the biological and emotional "blueprint" for all future relationships. A healthy attachment to the mother, built on repetitive bonding experiences during childhood, provides a solid foundation for future healthy relationships.
Some people have an incredible ability to make friends, while others have a harder time, even maintaining their relationships over time. On the emotional level, the most intense human relationships, the ones that produce the greatest pleasure and sometimes the greatest pain, are those we form with family, friends, and loved ones.
Within this inner circle of intimate relationships, we become linked or attached to each other with a kind of emotional glue that binds us out of love. It seems incredible that we mothers are the ones who can fertilize the terrain of our children's emotional development with something as natural as the unconditional love that grows towards our children from the day they are born and even before.
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