What if we DO NOT help children manage their frustrations

What if we DO NOT help children manage their frustrations

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The frustration It is one of the most unpleasant, uncomfortable and common emotions that a child and an adult can experience, but we have to learn to live with it because it will accompany us throughout our lives. Hence the importance of parents being by their children when they need it, because What if we don't help children manage their frustrations?

Children's frustrations cannot be avoided, that is, they will have them today, tomorrow, the day after, and when they are older. So what can we parents do? We have to help them manage those frustrations. It is called tolerating frustrations or, rather, managing frustrations (tolerating is like enduring frustration and it is not about enduring, but also).

It is about telling them that there are things that do not depend on him to achieve them. You will not be able to choose the people you are in class with or you will not be able to select your teachers, that is, there are many things in life that you have to assume and accept.

On the other hand, it is interesting to educate them on the difference between need and desire. If your child needs something, they will have you there quickly to deal with that need that has arisen. But if it is a wish, you will have to wait, even if it involves the dreaded appearance of a tantrum.

Tantrums are usually triggered by frustrations. Who has not happened to be with the child in the supermarket and that he throws himself on the ground because he wanted, for example, a jelly bean? At that moment we adults can do two things. So that we are not ashamed, we tell him that we buy him what he wants, for one day! But that's wrong, because the message we're sending you is that that's the way to get what you want.

It's difficult, but the right thing to do would be to say with healthy assertiveness: 'I'm not going to buy it, cry whatever you want, kick whatever you want, but not now.' You can also offer alternatives (it is not a question of saying no to everything): 'Not now, but this afternoon when you leave school, yes'.

Ultimately it is about them learning to wait, delaying gratification, setting limits and giving them rules that help them manage frustration so that they do not harm their emotional well-being, and it is that a child cannot be frustrated all day .

Based on her experience as a psychologist, Begoña Ibarrola points out that in recent years, families are failing at something, because there are more and more children with low tolerance for frustration. Parents are giving children everything very easily. They do not make them wait and that is making them, at times, become child tyrants. And, worst of all, adults are allowing themselves to be tyrannized, children becoming the owners of their time and the owners of their lives. It is what is known as children with 'emperor syndrome'.

Without a doubt, it is an educational failure of the parents. If you have a child with a low tolerance for frustrationYou have to know that you are going to have a lot of tantrums, you are going to constantly go into tantrums, you may present some symptoms of anxiety and, in the long run, even have symptoms of depression for not knowing how to get out of this situation; Hence the importance of the figure of the father and mother to teach him to manage that feeling and to get out of that anger.

There are very simple things that parents can do, such as simply diverting their attention to another thing, distracting them, doing some relaxation technique, making them laugh, tickling them ... And it is all that humor implies becomes a very good mechanism to get out of those tantrums and that anger.

Another mission parents have, although it can be difficult at times, is to keep their word. The 'no' is 'no'. If you tell your child that at a certain time he has to do something, for example homework, he should do it, even though 'he has to stop playing his favorite video game'.

No child, by himself, gives up something he wants very much. No child, by himself, stops doing something he loves. We are the adults who have to say 'no, this far'. These limits cost, therefore, when we have children with low tolerance for frustration, we have to reflect because their conduct and behavior will be a consequence of not having educated them well, that we have not helped them to manage frustration and of that we have to do our bit.

First to normalize it, and then to not feel guilty ourselves, that sometimes happens too. "I don't want my son to suffer, so I give him everything he asks for." With this attitude we are not doing the child any favors. Whoever gets frustrated will be much better for him in the long run, even if we don't see it at first and don't believe it.

There are many moments where parents have to think: 'What is it that interests me: In the short term that I am well or in the long term that I learn that everything I want, I cannot have it?' As adults, we must work the waiting muscle, we must stretch it much more!

The child has to see that frustration is not something that happens to him. That this anger or disappointment that they feel is also experienced by other children, their parents and that can even be seen reflected in literature, because the story characters are also frustrated and angry at some point in their lives when things do not go their way. .

In "Lira y el viento", a story written by Begoña Ibarrola in her book 'I'm very angry!', We discover a girl angry at the world. If they offer her vegetables, she wants macaroni and, if they give her macaroni to eat, she also protests because now she doesn't like tomato anymore. He does not want to go to school or to the park. Mood overpowers her.

But then the Wind appears, ruffling her hair and shaking her in search of a smile. At first, Lira gets angry with him because he doesn't like his games. But since the Wind is playful and persists, he ends up tickling her and pushing her to dance until Lira discovers her own smile.

The key to the change is that the Wind asks him about the origin of his anger and persists until he gets an answer. And of course, the great confession arrives: 'I don't have any friends,' Lira ends up declaring. Normal, how can one not be angry with the world like this! The Wind teaches her to enjoy herself and Lira discovers that her laugh is the time to get closer to the world and the rest of the children. At last, friends arrive.

With Lira we learn that behind a frown not only can rage or anger hide, but there can also be fear and sadness of loneliness crouched. Listening and observing what is behind is the beginning of empathy.

If your child liked this story and, above all, it has helped him to understand a little better what frustration is and what can cause it, we recommend that you choose some of these stories and fables that deal with the same theme and that you take Note some tips for parents of children with low tolerance for frustration.

frustration. This short story tells children about frustration. It is normal to feel frustrated when we do not achieve something we want, and with this children's story you can talk to your children about this emotion. We accompany the story with reading comprehension activities and more educational resources.

Tips for desperate parents with children who cannot tolerate frustration. If you are one of those desperate parents with children who cannot tolerate frustration, here are some tips. They are intended to be applied in those families with children with a low tolerance for frustration that cause continuous tantrums or tantrums.

The story that did not want to be written. A story against the frustration of children. This is the story of a story that did not want to be written, a story that talks about childhood frustration. A rebellious tale and a girl who wanted to tame it. Find out how this story ends so that the children learn that not everything goes the way you want it to and that there are always alternatives.

Guidelines for teaching the child to tolerate frustration. Parents can help our children to channel their anger, rage or frustration. To achieve this, the psychologist Silvia Álava gives us 5 very useful tips that we can put into practice to teach children to tolerate frustration. How to teach children to handle disappointment.

The magic question to stop a tantrum or a moment of anger in children. Take note and take the test: we offer you the magic question to stop a tantrum or a moment of anger in children. Learn how to handle a child tantrum or anger. You can do the test with this system, very effective according to many parents. Test if it also works with your child.

Fables for children about frustration. The milkmaid. The milkmaid, a traditional fable with a moral for children. our site has selected this fable because it teaches children that whoever loves a lot can be left with nothing. Story about ambition, frustration and disappointment. A story that tells us that we will not always get what we want.

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